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Asking for money from family and friends is rarely an easy thing to do but often necessary when funding a small business. But there are some basic rules you can follow, to make it easier on yourself, and easier on those you ask. Never take personal relationships for granted, or expect someone to give or lend you cash, even if according to your standards, they have “money to burn.”

Rule #1: Family and Friends Are Not Banks: Don’t Treat Them Like One

Bankers and investors expect to be asked for money, family and friends do not. It is always a bad idea to catch someone off guard and ask them for anything, especially money. If you were being asked to invest in something, you would want information, and the time to think things over. Your family and friends deserve this same courtesy.

Rule #2: Think About What You Need Before Bringing Up Money

Before you approach the person, be sure to thoroughly think through what you want to ask them for. Have an amount in mind, repayment terms, and any other conditions you feel are needed. You should also think about what is not acceptable, and be prepared to negotiate, or politely decline an offer that does not meet your business goals, or that might sour a personal relationship.

Rule #3: This is Business: Set up a Meeting

Before you ask for something specific, broach the subject in advance. Give the person you are planning to ask for money time to think about whether or not they are interested – before you even ask. Set up a business meeting, or invite them to lunch (you pay) and tell them you want to discuss a business opportunity with them.